Now and then

 I had a principal observation today and I was reflecting how I felt about it this morning, and again when it was over. I felt prepared. My lesson plan was detailed, I thought through the objective, the materials, the provocation, the questions. I emailed families the night before so supplies would be ready to go. The pre-observation with my principal was upbeat, relaxed, thorough. Everything was smooth sailing and I felt happy that the students had fun with the lesson (we observed melting ice cubes on construction paper - a lesson in close looking, noticing changes, and for some, an interest in measuring the growing wet spot).

The process of the formal principal observation is the pre-observation meeting, the actual observation, her post-obso evaluation form, and my post-obso self-reflection. Every step of the way I felt sure-footed, confident in my decisions, and relaxed. 

It got me thinking about my first year in the classroom, and my second. And my third. 

I have never been an overly nervous person, but tend to be a people pleaser and authority can occoasionaly make me nervous. I think I made a bit of a mountain out of a molehill that first year. I was surrounded by support and couldn't have been in a more nurturing environment to teach, but as a newbie, I wasn't feeling 100% confident. My toolbox wasn't as well stocked. I can't even remember now how the observation went that first year. Probably just fine.

Fast forward to my second year and my principle observed an absolute distaster! Kids all over the place (literally one child ran under a table and another one jumped off a chair!), my lesson was NOT going according to plan, I lacked support, I lacked the confidence in this environment. I cried after. 

The contrast between the first two years and today is bringing up feelings of growth and pride, gratitude for the kind of work that nurtures this evolution, and the space I work in that provides so much support.

I have so much growing left to do, so much to learn, and a million ways to continue becoming a better teacher.